Hi. I'm Fannisya Aulya Iskandar, but people around me usually call me Fanny. I'm 18 years old. I used to be live in East Jakarta, but now I live in Yogyakarta for about 3 years to go. I live with my parents and my sister, and I'm the oldest child.
I have a lot of interests. I love to write something, there are about my deep thought, random thought, my experiences, and so on. I also love to read some books, for me, reading a book is like opening the world's window because I get a lot of information which I haven't read/got before. I'm such a shy person if I'm in the new place or I just meet a new people. But I really enjoy the moment if I feel like I like this place/meet the old friend.
I have a dream that one day, I'll be a writer
I have a lot of interests. I love to write something, there are about my deep thought, random thought, my experiences, and so on. I also love to read some books, for me, reading a book is like opening the world's window because I get a lot of information which I haven't read/got before. I'm such a shy person if I'm in the new place or I just meet a new people. But I really enjoy the moment if I feel like I like this place/meet the old friend.
I have a dream that one day, I'll be a writer
As I know you've talent in jurnalistic so it was good paragraph which is you can choosen a proper words. But, in paragraph 2 line 5 that was writing "opening", the correct is just "opens" and in paragraph 2 line 10, it was writing "I like.....", you must change it into "I loves......" if you still use like, it can be confusing the reader because you've used the word "like" for two times in one sentences.
BalasHapusThanks for the feedback, Salza! :)
HapusHi Fanny! I'm Funny. Your words are good so far, but I think the word "But" on the first sentence (line 10th) must be followed by coma (,). Let's study together about English and don't forget to visit my blog, hope you can check mine too. Keep writing!
BalasHapusThanks for the feedback, Tiara!:)
HapusYou have good ideas to express what is special about you. But I think in paragraph 1 line 6 you should separate the word "sister" and "I'm" with dot (.) because "I'm the oldest child" explains different topics.
BalasHapusThanks for the feedback, Angel!:)
HapusHi Fanny! You are really good to make the reader feel amazed with your introduction. Good job Fanny!
BalasHapus